BREAKING!!! Baileys Beach Club To Buy Rejects Beach!

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I REALLY can’t believe the city of Newport is allowing this! Reject’s is such a favorite local spot that I can’t imagine any of this going over well. I expect there will be all kinds of outrage, and vitriol spewed all over social media, and who can blame them! But if you haven’t figured out that it’s April 1st yet, and you probably have nothing to worry about, maybe you should share this with your friends, and see if you can fool them too!



Happy AFD!

-Dennis Hofer, Blast April Fools Correspondent

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Dennis Hofer was born in Newport Hospital. If you don't know him, someone you know does. He's a master of loading Pez Dispensers, self proclaimed connoisseur of chicken parm sandwiches, and always good for a joke or six. If you see him drinking a hefeweizen, please tell him to just go home. High fives for reading this far.