Bill Murray Has All The Weather Forecast You Need

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Life on the island has become a sequel to ‘Groundhog Day’ best described as ‘Groundhog Week’.

We could go look up the actual 5-day weather prediction, but there isn’t much point, because whatever the actual numbers are going to be, Bill Murray can sum it up better than any trained meteorologist. “You want a winter prediction? It’s going to be cold. It’s going to be grey…and it’s going to last you the rest of your life.”

Everyone should know how it’s going to play out. The week starts out with a big blizzard that coincides with you contracting some kind of cold. You shovel your way out of your place and use some Pour Judgement. There you have a good time (though not quite as good a time as the blizzard party you were at the week before).

You wake up the next day and you feel like crap. You assume that it’s because you’re hung over and a bit sore from all the walking you did through the snow, even though at this point you’ve walked something like a marathon through an average of 10″ of the stuff over the last three weeks.

You are incorrect. You feel like crap because you’ve caught yet another cold, just as soon as you started recovering from the last one. Your lungs feel like they’re in the grip of some horrible phlegm demon whose claws can only be released  by the hot and spicy love of your roommates or a Chinese delivery guy…and a whole lot of NyQuil.

Of course, you only realize the futility of your recovery when you finally get off the couch and finally take a look at the 5-day forecast because you were under the impression that maybe the Arctic was empty and didn’t have any more snow storms to send our way. Sure enough, next week is going to start with a bunch of snow, followed by stupidly cold temperatures.

So, anytime you’re wondering what the weather is going to be like, watch the video above. If you haven’t already seen Hitler’s reaction to learning about what the weather is going to be like, watch the video below.

-Tristan Pinnock, Blast Seasonal Affective Disorder Correspondent

Tristan's just this guy, ya know?