Fall River Remains Home To Area’s Stupidest Criminals

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The latest example is Richard Ormond, who claimed a priceless justification for an armed robbery spree.

The Fall River Police Department has a lot of work to do…but, fortunately for them, it’s not particularly challenging. It’s not as if they need to hire consulting detectives to capture the likes of Richard Ormond, who robbed four convenience stores over the weekend.

The Fall River Herald reports:

A Motorola cell phone left behind at the scene of an armed robbery Sunday night in a Fall River convenience store contained selfies of Ormond wearing the same clothing that the suspect was seen wearing on surveillance video footage, police said.

Two quick points. The first is that we’re guessing that no one reading this was thinking to themselves that an iPhone 6S would be involved. The second is that we hold it as a general rule that men shouldn’t take selfies…but not on the grounds of avoiding self-incrimination. It’s more that no one is going to be interested in looking at you, especially when you look like this:

richard ormond

Could this gentleman have been trying to maximize his time, shooting selfies in his Tinder-best between knocking off convenience stores?

Now, after determining who Ormond was and what he looked like, Fall River police just needed to find out where he lived. Fortunately, the brainchild had that base covered too…

In the cell phone, detectives also found text messages where Ormond, 31, directed someone to his address at 301 Milliken Blvd.

Determined to live up to the title “Detective” and not simply “Uber service to the county jail”, Fall River police also compared footprints at the scenes of all four locations and found a match, before getting search warrants for Ormond’s residence and Dodge Dakota pickup truck.

The police set up surveillance on the truck and waited for Ormond to leave his residence Monday morning before pulling him over and taking him into custody.

Officers pulled the vehicle over at Milliken Boulevard and Columbia Street and took Ormond into custody, Santos said, adding that Ormond had a “large amount of loose change” and rolls of coins in his pants pockets.

So Ormond broke one of the cardinal rules of robbery; don’t flash the cash(or coin) after your big score.

Once in custody, our Mensa perp had the best explanation for why he’d robbed four convenience stores…
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Tristan's just this guy, ya know?