First Beach Mystery: What’s Wrong With This Picture?

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First Beach No Pets

Who’s in charge of signage at Easton’s Beach?

We have to admit, we spend more time than the average Newporter confused about the city’s beach signs. Last year we were confused as to why you weren’t allowed to grill your pet’s jetski at Gooseberry Beach. This year, there seems to be a mystery as to what is pooping where at First Beach.



No Pets

First Beach No Pets Sign

We have here a nice bold sign that lets everyone know “Authorized Vehicles Only: No Pets”. That’s fairly straightforward.

Right behind that sign?

First Beach Poop Bags

Dog Owners are required to clean up after their pets. IT’S THE LAW.

So as best as we can tell, if you own dogs for some kind of commercial venture, but not as pets, they’re allowed at the beach…but you have to pick up their poo. Perhaps you own a junkyard and have a rottweiler you use for security and you bring him down to the beach so he can terrorize the seagulls.

Are service dogs pets?

According to the ADA, service dogs are not considered pets, so the beach could serve as a private club for dogs who work for a living. They’d get a chance to hang out and talk shop, without having to listen to pets talking about their playboy lifestyle of barking at random noises and licking themselves.

Finally…

First Beach Poo

Who’s the joker?

Was it a pet giving everyone their commentary on their prohibited status? Was it a service animal demonstrating their privilege to lesser “pets”? Was it just one of the drivers of an “authorized vehicle” who had too much Dunkin’ and really had to go?

Anyhow, one of our readers found the whole situation a little confusing/contradictory and sent this pic in. Unfortunately, we’ve probably raised more questions than we’ve answered.

-Tristan Pinnock, Blast First Beach Correspondent


Tristan's just this guy, ya know?