Five Great Ways To Get Arrested, Ejected Or Fined At Newport’s St.Patrick’s Day Parade

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4. Running The Gauntlet

The Police Departments of Portsmouth and Middletown are only too happy to spend their afternoon arrestingĀ drunk-drivers leaving the Parade. The State Police will be all over the bridges. So find somewhere to sleep it off before you get behind the wheel or you’ll learn about fines and other costs of time, money and freedom far beyond those inflicted on street drinkers and public pissers.



5. Throwing Drinks

Bars in Newport hire plenty of security for Parade Day and while they typically let people get a bit rowdy, they’re also quick to let people know when they’re approaching…or exceeding…their limits. One of the quickest ways to get yourself booted is throwing your drink on other revelers. When we say throw your drink, we don’t mean that bit where you are walking around clumsily and your drink bumps into someone and spills on them (because that would literally mean kickout out thousands of people), but the intentional act of tossing a drink at someone.

Long story short, there are typically a lot of people trying to get into at-capacity bars than there is a need to keep malicious patrons around, so if you’re going to be a jerk, you’re going to get bounced pretty quick.

In Conclusion…

…so don’t be a jerk.

-Tristan Pinnock, Blast Parade Correspondent


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Tristan's just this guy, ya know?