If You Don’t Have A Valentine This Year, You May Die

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Why you don’t want to be alone February 14th.

There’s a reason why Valentine’s Day also goes by “Singles Awareness Day”. For those who are perpetually single, the dull pain of not having someone who loves them (back) that they feel all year long is suddenly brought into an acute spike. So February 14th has always brought an emotional burden for the loveless and lonely.

This year is different.



This year, there’s an actual physical danger to being alone on Valentine’s Day. Take a look at the forecast for Saturday night.

Weather Forcast Feb 13 2016

That’s actual -3ºF. Not “wind chill”. Not “Feels like”. -3ºF with winds blowing at 20-30 mph. By our calculations, that means the “feels like” will be roughly…

sub zero gif

If you’re going to be outside on Saturday night, we recommend wearing numerous layers and minimizing any exposure of your skin to the cold. Unless, of course, you’re a Salve undergrad, in which case, just take an extra shot before heading out in your typical sub-zero attire.

3 things dont get cold in winter

If you’re like us, you’re probably curious as to how 21 year old girls can walk around in cocktail dresses in Arctic conditions when you’re in a survival suit designed to allow you to bob around in the North Atlantic for a few days and freezing. It’s one of life’s great mysteries.

Now, let’s see how bad things are going to get on Sunday…

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