Macaulay Culkin is back as Kevin McAllister….

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Ever wondered how the siege in Home Alone affected Kevin later on in life? Well your prayers have been answered, and the results are not pretty….

[youtube https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yh7-wAy_8ss&w=560&h=315]

A coked out Uber driver? Kevin, your girlfriend, WOOF!

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Dennis Hofer was born in Newport Hospital. If you don't know him, someone you know does. He's a master of loading Pez Dispensers, self proclaimed connoisseur of chicken parm sandwiches, and always good for a joke or six. If you see him drinking a hefeweizen, please tell him to just go home. High fives for reading this far.