Man’s Craigslist Personal Ad Accepts The Inevitable

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“This advert is in recognition of the big neon sign on my forehead that everyone else can see except me.”

This is a post that could have easily been titled Dr. Strangelove or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Crazy. Mathematically, very guy has probably dated at least one girl who was mentally off-kilter. They went along for the ride because she was hot, the sex was incredible and they didn’t know any other women. Unfortunately, they had to bail when she lit their wardrobe on fire, slashed their tires or got them arrested.



Most guys then do their best to avoid repeating the experience. Some find they kind of liked it at some base level, usually because they’re a little tapped themselves and spend a little too much time watching Natural Born Killers. Then there is a small group of typically mild-mannered, nice guys who find themselves to be magnets for the mentally unstable. Their love lives are a parable of The Butterfly Effect, where no matter what they change to prevent the last disaster of a relationship from happening again, they find themselves in exactly the same position.

It’s never a good thing when your love life is giving you PTSD and the thousand-yard stare.

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Accepting The Inevitable

There’s pretty much two options for these guys to choose from. They can become a monk (or comic book guy)…or they can accept the cost of having sex is emotional trauma and just running with it.

This was recently posted to Craigslist.

i-need-an-unstable-woman-for-a-drama-filled-relationship

It reads:

I need an unstable woman for a drama filled relationship. . .

status: married
age: 37
Hi there,

I’m seeking a like-minded woman to share a disastrous 3-9 month relationship with, ending in acrimony, emotional chaos, and possibly legal proceedings.

I live in Hillsboro , I’m 38 years old, fairly well educated, I hold down a good job and am pretty stable. I’m told I’m fairly good looking, but I’ll let you be the judge of that – I’m generally caring and very honest.

I am looking for an attractive female who will at first give me obsessive love, praise and devotion – but whose paranoia, self-loathing and fear of rejection and abandonment will eventually lead her to alternately push me away and pull me closer in a love/hate cycle that will lead to infidelity, consensual sexual violence, and the eventual emotional breakdown of one or other party – or if we’re lucky – both!

You should:

* be 18 to 45 years old;
* have a history of short, intense, drama-driven relationships;
* enjoy degrading and dehumanizing sex;
* have undergone negative psychiatric evaluations in the past; and
* be willing to threaten self-harm and/or annihilation as a weapon to control your partner and make them stay with you and care for you.

Although not completely necessary, I would prefer women:

* with nice smiles;
* that have larger than average breasts;
* who are married or already in unstable relationships;
* that drink to forget; and
* who have had a previous established diagnosis of Borderline or Dependent Personality Disorder or Bi-Polar Affective Disorder – or who are currently taking Lithium Carbonate, SSRIs, or Tri-cyclic antidepressants.

If you think you meet these requirements (and wow, I’m getting excited just writing them!), please don’t hesitate to get back to me as soon as possible. In the meantime, thank you for reading my advert, and do take care.

All the best,

Me

ps This advert is in recognition of the big neon sign on my forehead that everyone else can see except me.

So even if this doesn’t really apply to you, you probably know some people who will really understand.

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-Tristan Pinnock, Blast Dating Correspondent


Tristan’s just this guy, ya know?