Never Ever Leave Nasty Notes On Your Bar Receipts

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In the 21st Century, it’s a great way to get blackballed everywhere.

These days, credit card receipts are occasionally used as a quaint way to pass notes between restaurant folk and their patrons. Typically it’s a little “pat-on-the-back” thank you. Other times it’s a phone number with a “;-)”. And sometimes, a guy just wants to tell you how much you suck at life.



Jonathan Ramichi Reciept

Over at Medium, Stefanie Williams unloads on this guy in a manner we couldn’t hope to match, so here it is in its entirety:

Dear Jonathan Ramaci,

You don’t know me, but I know you. Because bartenders talk. Especially in a small town like Charleston. The underworld of bartending and serving in Chucktown is pretty legendary. You f**k one of us over, you f**k us all over. You talk s**t to a bartender on Upper King, a bartender in Mount Pleasant knows about it.

So obviously I know about this. Obviously I know about how embarrassing of a drunk you are that you stayed at a bar for seven hours and then told the bartender she was a cunt when she refused to serve you anymore. And then you stiffed her after bragging about how “substantial” a tip you would have given her had she not cut your drunk ass off.

Here’s a substantial tip for you: this bartender wasn’t a bitch, but karma sure is!

Did you know the woman you stiffed and called a c**t and a bitch is a wife and mother? She has a baby and a husband? She is someone’s daughter who goes to work every day and deals with assholes like you? Nah, you wouldn’t know that, you were too busy telling people you invented the question mark to even consider that the bartender you were berating could be a human being. No human being would ever deny such a charming, classy, well composed drinker like yourself another round!

Dudes like you are the number one issue for servers and bartenders. Guys who don’t know when to stop drinking, don’t remember they are assholes when they’re drunk, and take out their life’s problems on the stranger who won’t give them anymore alcohol because they have no control over their own s**t, despite bragging about how important they are. You aren’t important. And the probably seven dollar tip your cheap ass would have left this woman isn’t worth being verbally abused by some drunk dick. For someone who went to MIT, your vocabulary is pretty limited. C**t? Really? That woman spent seven hours putting up with your drunk ass telling people you invented the start button for the iPhone. I think SAINT is more of an accurate term.

But congrats dude, I hope your six dollar savings and bitter rant against a mother and wife doing her job was worth it. Because now every bartender in Charleston — I mean, EVERY bartender in Charleston — knows you. Knows what you look like, what you do. They will laugh at you and point at you from behind the server station every time you sit down. They’ll mock the f**k out of your bragging ass and probably give you s**tty service because they know that you’re a cheap f**k who treats their friends like s**t and calls women c**ts when they don’t give you what you want. So please bear that in mind every single time you walk into a bar in the low country — they all know the enormous asshole you are and it won’t be forgotten. Your actions have blacklisted you from ever having a genuine bartender or server again in this town. Their managers will be on alert when you walk in as “a guy who gets really wasted and berates the servers and doesn’t tip”. You’ll never be allowed to camp out on their barstools for seven hours again only to stiff them and think it’s okay.

I hope this is a life lesson for you. I don’t care how f**king important you think you are, you can not treat people this way. I don’t give a s**t how much money you make or how expensive your car is or how fabulously smart you are. You used the word c**t against a woman simply doing her job because you were a belligerent asshole who doesn’t know when to shut it down. What adult does that? No one is impressed by you, no one is intimidated by you. So stop being a raging asshole and maybe learn a little humility and some moderation on the sweet nectar, because buddy, no tip is worth putting up with patrons like you.

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While this incident may have happened in Charleston, South Carolina, it’s important to remember that it could just as easily happened up here in Newport.

There was a time when someone could come into resort towns such as Charleston or Newport and get away with murder, especially if they were only in town for a day or two. Today, with social media and the Internet, whether someone likes to dine and dash or make an attempt at being the world’s biggest jerk, there is an underground “reverse Yelp” shared between industry folk that can deal with the very worst patrons.

So if you’re going to be that guy, at least be smart enough to pay cash. Even if you write a note on a $20, there’s a good chance that whoever is serving you won’t bother to read it…and it will be sitting out there in the world of commerce like a ticking bomb, waiting for some unsuspecting individual to pass it to a bartender who is paying attention and then BOOM!!!

But I digress.

In the meantime…

Don't be a dick

-Tristan Pinnock, Blast Etiquette Correspondent


Tristan's just this guy, ya know?