Newport Life Suddenly Imitates South Park Episode

By  |  0 Comments

Self-proclaimed restaurant critic has a “Yelp account”, threatens Newport restaurants with it.

Last fall, South Park hit Yelp (and more specifically “Yelpers”) with a full broadside in “You’re Not Yelping”. The episode was such a brutal critique of the review site, we wrote a post on it asking “Did South Park Just Kill Yelp?



The premise was basically that Yelp turned its users into self-appointed restaurant critics, who then head out all over town, where terrified restauranteurs cater to their every whim, lest they receive a negative review on the website. Naturally, Eric Cartman is drawn to…then corrupted by…this newfound power.

Now Newport is faced with a female Eric Cartman, trying to dominate restaurant employees with threats of negative reviews.

Newport Food Critic Scam Yelp

“Restaurants in Newport beware! This woman posed as a restaurant critic and was very nasty. Threatening the WONDERFUL waitresses at Gary’s Handy Lunch that she was going to post negative stuff on yelp… She is a scam artist! Handy ROCKS!!!!” -Sharyn Harrington (on Facebook) 

A Badge Of Pride

Sometimes restaurant employees know bad reviews are coming because they screwed up. More often than not, however, when a one-star review shows up on Yelp, it’s more a reflection of the reviewer than it is on the restaurant.

“The appetizer took 3 hours to arrive…then it gave me food poisoning!”

Because “Wouldn’t fall for my restaurant critic scam” doesn’t make for a convincing review.

We know plenty of restaurant owners who can just laugh, because in a sea of 4-5 star reviews, there’s a few 1 star turds from people who are after them for something that’s not the quality of their restaurant.

-Tristan Pinnock, Blast Yelp Correspondent


Tristan's just this guy, ya know?