Our Five Favorite Newport, RI Burgers

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Great restaurants to get the quintessential American meal.

Way back when, some someone (or a bunch of people) did that most American of things and took some foreign food, repackaged it for the American masses and came up with a food that would dominate the world…and then, over the next century, we kept finding ways to make it better.

Newport is a city known for its culinary arts and fine dining, but that doesn’t mean that there aren’t some amazing burgers here. We’ll be the first to admit that we haven’t had every burger from every restaurant, but we do enjoy the following list:

1. Pour Judgement‘s Beer & A Burger

Pour Judgement Beer and a Burger SmallerIt’s amazing that it makes us sound like an old kook, but we can remember when you could get a beer and a burger at PJs for $5. That was the deal that landed Pour Judgment on the map. While other places may have had better burgers, you just weren’t going to get better value for your money. You couldn’t do better for yourself if you went to McDonalds after stopping by a liquor store.

Like all stupidly amazing deals, it got a little less amazing after supply and demand got into a few little scuffles over the years. The starting price has risen to $9.50…but it is still one of the best deals in town.

How we get it: We go medium well with lettuce, tomato, onion, American cheese, mustard and ketchup.

2. Brick Alley Pub‘s Sedona Burger

sedona burger smallThis is a burger to avoid if you’re expecting a first kiss later in the night, but if you like things a little fiery, it does an amazing job hitting the spot. Pepper-Jack cheese, applewood smoked bacon and sliced fresh jalapeños combined with a spicy bistro sauce take you right to the line of discomfort, but never over it.

How we get it: Lettuce, tomato, onion, Dijon mustard and ketchup. We’ll usually end up with the fries, but sometimes switch them out for a side salad if we think of it.

 

3. Speakeasy‘s Speakeasy Burger

Imagine a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, a grilled cheese and a cheeseburger having a threesome in your mouth. That’s the Speakeasy Burger. You’re probably thinking “WTF?”, but it works. Trust us. The sweet/savory combination is kind of like Hawaiian pizza…unless you don’t like Hawaiian pizza, in which case it’s like pork chops and apple sauce, unless you’re Jewish or Muslim in which case it’s like…oh, a Dr. Pepper beef roast. Anyway, the point being that you’ve probably had plenty of sweet foods mixed with non-sweet foods and they’re can be really good. Time to add the Speakeasy Burger to that list.

How we get it: Medium.

4. Mission‘s Bacon Cheeseburger

Mission BurgerWe were late getting around to Mission, which meant that we had a chance to hear everyone and their mother rave about the burgers there. Their burgers were the single most hyped thing in Newport since the America’s Cup World Series. When we finally got around to hitting up the joint, a good six months after they’d opened, our expectations were next to impossible to meet. Fortunately, Mission does the next to impossible daily.

How we get it: Topped with a fried egg.

5. Parlor‘s Smoked Gouda Burger

Parlor Smoked Gouda BurgerWe were broadsided by this one. We’d expect a $14 burger to be very, very good, but we were just shocked at how amazing it is. The simple menu description makes it sound quite appetizing:

Naturally Raised Beef, Tomatillo Avacado Jam, Maple Bacon, Chipotle Aioli

…but even that doesn’t really do it justice. It may sound pretty arrogant considering the company that it’s in, but this may be the very best burger in Newport.

Disclaimer

There’s nothing like trying to put together a list like this to remind us that there are a lot of places whose burgers we haven’t tried, which is why this post is our favorite burgers and not another “The Best of” list. We’re going to keep exploring as our wallet (and waistline) allows.

-Tristan Pinnock, Blast Sandwich Correspondent

Tristan's just this guy, ya know?