There Is A GoFundMe To Buy Bob Dylan A Bed

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50 years ago he went electric…now people want to make sure he gets a good night’s sleep.

Here’s the GoFundMe’s description:

For over 50 years, Bob Dylan has been one of the most celebrated figures in American music. His songs have redefined genres and given voice to generations, and he has continued to crank out tune after awesome tune well into his winter years. He has given us everything while asking nothing in return, and for that, we think it’s about time that America said “thank you” for all his contributions to our ears and our hearts.

Hence, we have started this GoFundMe page with the goal of purchasing Bob a brand-new Sleep Number® adjustable bed. This includes a classic c2 Sleep Number® mattress, a sturdy modular base, and an intuitive wireless remote for adjusting the bed’s firmness. With taxes and shipping, the bed will cost $1,359.97. It is expensive, but we believe that this is the least we can do to thank “The Man In The Hat” for his service to the American people.

If we exceed our goal, the extra money will go toward purchasing comfortable blankets and/or additional Sleep Number® adjustable beds for Bob. If we fail to meet our goal, any money raised will be refunded to the original donors. But let’s hope it doesn’t come to that.

If you have ever listened to any of Bob’s music, you owe it to him to donate to this wonderful cause. Let’s show him that he is not forgotten, but rather loved and feared.

Thank you in advance for your donations, and God bless.



If you’re wondering who is behind this rather bizarre idea, it’s the crazy folks at Clickhole, one of The Onion’s sister sites. While The Onion has a long tradition of satirizing traditional news media, Clickhole satirizes new media, especially clickbait.

Most commenters seemed to grasp that what they were witnesses was satire:

How many beds

 

While some don’t seem to comprehend what they are witnessing:

Bob dylan doesn't get it

 

This all fits in what appears to be Clickhole’s mission to simply troll the humor-less and gullible.

-Tristan Pinnock, Blast Bedding Correspondent


Tristan's just this guy, ya know?