Tiverton Mail Thieves: One Solution

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Someone has been stealing mail in Tiverton. A possible fix comes from, of all places, Washington, DC.

Despite what you may have been told growing up, Christmas presents are rarely delivered via a house’s chimney. These days, many homes don’t have the traditional chimney, and those that do often have a wood or gas stoves rather than open fireplaces, meaning that barring some Innerspace-type shrinking technology (or magical Santa dust), you’re not going to get boxes bigger than about 3″x3″ through there.

So today, presents come from Amazon and are delivered by a truck to your mailbox or doorstep, which is great, if you’re home to bring them inside when they arrive…but also great prey for the kinds of douchebags who don’t quite get the holiday spirit.

In Tiverton, there have been reports that two young white males driving an older model, black Nissan Frontier pickup are suspected of stealing packages from Devon Way, Fairwood Drive and Captain’s Circle.

Oddly enough, a couple down in Washington, DC came up with their own solution to having packages being stolen from their doorstep. It may be a disgusting, smelly approach…but it could be crazy enough to work.

That’s right…dummy packages filled with dog feces (though if you don’t have a dog, you could substitute plenty of other feces). Because nothing tells a person what they’ve become better than discovering what they’ve stolen is a cardboard box full of the representation of their worth as a human being. Most of the people engaging in such activity aren’t going to be the brightest bulbs, so you might have to add a little note explaining the concept to them.

-Tristan Pinnock, Blast Postal Correspondent

Tristan's just this guy, ya know?