If You’re Ever In A Newport PD Holding Cell, Don’t Touch The Walls

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Another BIG reason not to get arrested in Newport, RI.

It’s Monday, which means in the last few days, you’ve probably seen or heard about people doing something that you figure should have gotten them arrested. That’s right. Toss them into the back of the cruiser and take them down to the police station.

At least, until you find out what happens inside one of the holding cells this past Sunday. Then you don’t want your worst enemy to be held in one. Newport Patch reports…

NEWPORT, RI—A woman charged with larceny by Newport police allegedly created a biohazard in a female holding cell on Sunday by smearing blood on the walls after she learned she was being transported to jail as a bail violator, according to a police report.

Bryonna Parrillo, 23, of no permanent address, was charged with vandalism for the blood smearing, police said. She also was charged with simple assault for kicking an officer in the groin at the police station.

Parrillo was arrested earlier on a larceny charge. Police said Parrillo, during her arraignment, became unruly after she learned she was going to the Adult Correctional Institutions in Cranston as a bail violator for a prior charge. She reportedly said that she would refuse to go to the ACI.

Later, once back in her cell at police headquarters, police said she flooded the cell and smeared her blood “all over the walls and window.”

This is an artist’s rendition of the incident.

shining blood elevator

Where did all this blood come from?

Police said she was not injured and the source of the blood was “from having her monthly period.”

eastwood shudder

So that will hopefully go down as the most disgusting news story of the year. We still have six month, but we really hope someone can’t find a way to top it.

In the meantime, if you find yourself arrested by the Newport Police Department, don’t touch anything in the holding cell. In fact, try to practice levitation so you don’t even touch the floor.

There are a variety of reasons that hundreds of thousands of Americans choose a career in law enforcement, but we can pretty much guarantee that “menstrual blood” has never been one of them. In fact, we’re betting that if this was mentioned as a potential experience, more than a few police academy cadets would have the following reaction:

Nope-Meme-Godzilla-02

-Tristan Pinnock, Blast Menstruation Correspondent


Tristan's just this guy, ya know?