According To Proposed Bill, New Jersey Residents May Now Be Smart Enough To Pump Their Own Gas

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Oregon residents may also have made the leap of evolution needed to be trusted with self-serve.

Getting gas in New Jersey has always been an interesting experience. You pull into a gas station and you notice that the prices are a hell of a lot cheaper than they are in Rhode Island. You also learn that you’re not allowed to pump gas yourself.

This is a strange combination, because in theory, having someone do something for you should be more convenient than having to do it yourself…but oddly enough, there are plenty of times this isn’t the case. Being forced to get full service at the gas pump often ends up feeling like that five minutes you spend at the bar every time you’re trying to pay your tab. Your gas station attendant is talking to another customer and all you want to do is pay him money so you can get back on the highway and get the hell out of New Jersey.

Now a bill introduced in the New Jersey State Assembly means that the next time you hit the Garden State, you might be able to pump that gas all by yourself.

A bill to be introduced by a Monmouth County lawmaker could end New Jersey’s decades-long ban on pumping your own gas.

Assemblyman Declan O’Scanlon, R-Monmouth, said he plans to introduce a bill to phase in self-serve gas that wouldn’t make motorists go cold turkey if they prefer to have an attendant do it for them.

If the bill passes, New Jersey residents will have three years to figure out how to use a self-serve gas pump without self-immolating. After that, gas stations will be free to go full-on self-service.

That’s right. Someone from New Jersey, elected by the people of New Jersey, had to come up with a time period for people to figure out how to use a gas pump, in a state ranked #13 for best high schools and their answer was 3/4 of the time it takes to get a Bachelor’s degree.

O’Scanlon calls the current law unnecessary and says it can lead to inconvenient waits at the pump. Supporters of the current law say it promotes safety, but O’Scanlon questions whether 48 other states are less safe for letting motorists pump gas.

Well current law supporters, we worry about the safety issue of letting people without the cognitive ability to pump their own gas operate motor vehicles on public roads.

Meanwhile, in Oregon, lawmakers are also considering a law legalizing pumping your own gasoline. That’s a state that legalized gay marriage on this day last year…and will legalize the recreational use of marijuana on July 1. So you’ll be able to smoke a doobie at a gay wedding before you can fill up your own tank of gas.

That says something about Oregon. We’re not sure exactly what…but something.

(Full disclosure, we were born in Salem, Oregon, at, as our parents would say, “the same hospital where they filmed One Who Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest”.)

-Tristan Pinnock, Blast Oregonian Correspondent

Tristan's just this guy, ya know?