Chapel Terrace Mom Finds A Really Interesting Way To Introduce Kids To DCYF

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Fun Fact: “Bottling” does not make for a good person, let alone a good mother.

In this week’s episode of “When Keeping It Real Goes Wrong”, Newport mother Crystal Lynn Cordeiro stabbed her friend with a broken beer bottle after being told that she didn’t deserve her kids…which is an amazingly ironic defense to the accusation, given that “My mom stabbed her friend with a beer bottle” is a rare phrase for children to say, but it’s even rarer amongst children still living with said mother.

Newport Patch reports:

NEWPORT, RI — Police were called to the Newport Hospital emergency room shortly after midnight on Tuesday for a stabbing victim. The hospital staff later told officers they thought they were obligated to report the apparent crime, but later realized that was not the case. The victim did not want to talk to officers. However, given the nature of the injury, police decided to investigate.

According to the arrest report, the woman victim had a bruise under her chin, She told them the bruise was from a broken jaw, which had happened a few days earlier. She declined to tell police how it happened. She did let police see a 3-inch long laceration on her thigh near the left hip. She told police that had happened at the Crystal Lynn Cordeiro’s house but added they are friends and have been friends for years.

Police went to the suspect’s residence. They saw broken glass on the front steps, but no one answered the door. Later that morning, a witness did speak with an officer. She said the suspect became angry when the victim told her she didn’t deserve her children. Cordeiro allegedly broke a Bud Light beer bottle and stabbed her with it.

Now, call us old-fashioned, but a “friend” and a “person who intentionally stabs you” are, in our book, mutually exclusive. If someone stabs us with a beer bottle, not only are we going to tell the police that they did it, we’re also going to tell the police about any and every illegal act that person has ever committed. Hell, we might find ourselves getting creative about their unlawful exploits.


Because stabbing people with a broken beer bottle isn’t something that civilized people do. Stabbing friends with beer bottles isn’t something sane people do.

Imagine if you’re the social worker who gets handed this case. We can only imagine what their recommendation will be…

-Tristan Pinnock, Blast Glass Correspondent

Tristan's just this guy, ya know?