Concept Of April Fools Eludes Half Of Newport

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A quick guide on how to recognize when someone’s having a little fun with you.

It’s that time of year again. Not Easter. Or even spring. (Though yes, those are happening)

It’s the “Seriously, no…those stories we put up for April Fools were not real.”

Sometimes it’s fine to just let people keep talking about them for as long as they want, despite all the clues sprinkled around them, but it’s come to our attention that some of our readers are a tad too gullible, don’t read articles all the way through and take things a little too seriously.

So, for the record, One Pelham East is NOT going to become a strip club…and Newport Storm did NOT brew a barrel-aged non-alcoholic beer.

We can also report(thankfully) that Kathy Lee Gifford didn’t actually get naked on the Today Show…

…but it just goes to show that you can’t trust what your mind puts behind every pixelation.

So here’s a quick guide to let everyone know when the stories you see in the media may not be 100% accurate:

1. It’s April 1st…somewhere

april-1-calendar-225x225Anything you see on April 1st is to be considered absolutely suspect…as is anything in the late hours of March 31st. That’s because just like Christmas, there’s a bit of holiday creep.

We’ve come to realize that after a long winter, a lot of people just don’t see April coming. It’s March…and it’s snowing…and it’s March…and it’s snowing…and it’s March…and suddenly it’s April and the only indication is a few Facebook friends who are winging about how they’re going to hate the next 24 hours.

2. It’s a crazy story…and it doesn’t deny it’s an April Fools joke.

If RIDOT announces that Aquidneck Island is going to start driving on the left in keeping with our “Colonial History” on April 1, then you can be pretty sure that unless there’s a mention that it’s NOT an April Fools joke in the first paragraph, then it certainly is.

3. The story is tagged “April Fools”

April FoolsJulien Edelman is a far better wide receiver than he is a jokester, but his tweet does help make a couple points. The first is that you shouldn’t talk to legal before you make a prank. The second is that there’s plenty of indicators if you look for it.

Most websites will provide a clue (or a bunch of clues) that the story is a joke. The first place to look? The tags:

April Fools Tag

So next time…

Here’s how it’s supposed to work:

  1. See crazy story.
  2. Click on crazy story.
  3. Read story
  4. Realize story is an April Fools.
  5. Laugh.
  6. Share with your friends.

In the meantime, we’re talking to a Newport City Council about adding a chemical to the city’s water that will increase everyone’s intelligent by 10 IQ points. It doesn’t taste that great, but we don’t think anyone will notice.

-Tristan Pinnock, Blast April Fools Correspondent

Tristan's just this guy, ya know?