Cumberland Home To RI’s Drunkest Driver

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John Lourenco, 53, Has Access To A)Too Much Alcohol And B)Too Many Vehicles.

There’s nothing like getting a DUI to make most people reevaluate their life choices. Many swear off alcohol (at least for the time being). Most feel shame and embaressment and promise themselves that they’ll never make such a stupid decision again. According to WPRI 12, John Lourenco is a bit of an outlier.

It began on Sunday when Lourenco, 53, crashed his Dodge pickup truck into a Pawtucket family’s SUV, which was carrying a 4-year-old boy and a 6-year-old girl. The children were admitted and released from Hasbro Children’s Hospital, according to police.

That right there should be a showstopper. If your drunk-driving puts children in the hospital, you should probably spend the next three days in bed, coming out only because you can’t stand to be alone with yourself. Not in Mr. Lourenco’s case.

The following day, Cumberland Chief John Desmarais said Lourenco was driving a Chevrolet Malibu at about 7:15 a.m. when he rear-ended another vehicle on Mendon Road. Police detected signs of alcohol consumption on Lourenco and after administering field sobriety tests, determined he was under the influence. He was taken back to the Cumberland Police station, where he registered a .220 BAC. He was released into the custody of his father with a summons to appear in court, Desmarais said.

Okay, good. His family is involved now. They can take him home, let him pass out and while he’s asleep, plan an intervention.

At about 11:15 a.m., an officer on Tower Hill Road spotted a 1970 Plymouth Barracuda driving erratically. Police said they pulled the car over, determined the driver, Lourenco, was intoxicated, and had him transported to Landmark Medical Center for treatment.

Or not. At this point, Lourenco apparently decided to go for broke with one more vehicle, the biggest one yet.

Police said Lourenco then walked out of the hospital before being discharged and got a hold of the keys to his dump truck. At about 5 p.m. he crashed into a tree on West Wrentham Road, causing heavy damage. He was once again taken to the hospital to be treated for minor injuries.

All-in-all, quite the impressive body of work. A quick Google search reveals that getting arrested for DUI twice in one week is enough to make the papers. Getting arrested 4 times in 48 hours might be some kind of record.

Now that Mr. Lourenco has added “Crash Test Dummy” to his resume, we can only imagine the difficulty he’s going to face trying to find an insurer, provided that he ever gets his license back.

4/27/15 UPDATE:

Channel 10 reports that Mr. Lourenco was just sentenced.

The judge sentenced him on Monday to four-years in prison. He’ll be required to serve two of those, and the rest will be suspended with probation.

That’s not all, though.

On top of alcohol counseling and prison time, Lourenco, who lives in Cumberland, is also facing a fine of more than $3,000 and a two year loss of license for each of the four incidents once he’s released.

And once he gets his license back, he’ll have he’ll have to use an ignition interlock device in his car for another five years…which won’t really be that big of a deal, because at that point, all cars will drive themselves anyway.

Tristan Pinnock, Blast Traffic Correspondent

Tristan's just this guy, ya know?