Why Would Harrison Ford Be In Woonsocket, RI?

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“Harrison Ford Involved in Bar Fight in Woonsocket, Rhode Island.” What are the chances?

At first glance, it would appear that Woonsocket is taking its rightfully place besides Mos Eisley as a hive of scum and villainy hell-bend on shortening Harrison Ford’s life faster than a WW2 trainer plane tumbling into a golf course.

Local news reports out of Woonsocket, Rhode Island are reporting that Hollywood actor Harrison Ford was involved in a bar fight in Woonsocket late last night. One man who allegedly attacked Ford was arrested and is being held on assault charges. According to patrons in the bar at the time of the incident, two men who appeared to recognize Ford began to verbally attack him for no apparent reason. Ford then stood up and said something back to the men when one of the men lunged toward him. Other bar patrons immediately intervened and restrained the man until police arrived. Ford was not injured.

Woonsocket? Why not Central Falls?

Then you realize this is the real world and Harrison Ford doesn’t go to Woonsocket bars in the real world.

He also didn’t get into the same fight in Pomona, California.

It’s all just another run of fake news headlines by a bunch of websites doing a poor job of imitating The Onion. The Onion is at least funny on occasion, while dailynews11.com just preys on the gullible population of a poor Rhode Island mill town and make them think that big name stars are hanging out in their city, when there’s little chance of Harrison Ford coming to the state, let alone their city.

So…sorry, Woonsocket. Go back to…whatever it is that you people do up there. Have barfights with non-famous people.

-Tristan Pinnock, Blast Solo Correspondent

Tristan's just this guy, ya know?