Help Hank Look Less Homeless

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We need your help to give Pour Judgement’s Hank Whitin a look that’s less “Broadway All-Star”.

It’s come to our attention that Hank Whitin needs a makeover. Well, maybe not a full makeover, but something that says to the world “I’m not homeless.”

Hank Whitin Facebook Homeless

So, it would appear that Hank’s typical wardrobe for holding court outside his bar, Pour Judgement, does not reflect his status as an entrepreneur, artist and philanthropist.

Hank Winter AttireIt’s not that he can’t dress up. He just doesn’t do it in the summer. Hank can look downright stylish in the winter, with a little help from Closet Revival.

Unfortunately, it’s about 90 degrees these days, so the layers Hank will wear are restricted to:

  1. XL T-Shirt with Pour Judgement or Brewery Logo
  2. That is all.

Now, a $30k Rolex could solve this issue overnight, but that’s not really Hank’s speed.

So, what we need  your help with is coming up with a few affordable wardrobe tweaks that just say “Hi! I’m not homeless.” We’re going to toss a few ideas at you and you vote for the one you like most.

1.Tuxedo T-shirt


Not the black tuxedo t-shirt. That’s been played out. A baby-blue retro prom tuxedo t-shirt. As is the case with any prom outfit featuring a boutonniere, it has that look that says “Formal, but really hoping to get laid.” The lighter color will be cooler and the cotton will breathe.



For well over a century, the monocle has shouted one of two messages to the world…usually depending on the length and twirl of one’s mustache. It either means:

  1. I just bought the Boardwalk
  2. I just tied your girlfriend to the train tracks.

So a combination of wealth and possible danger.

Though now that we think about it, also hipster.

3. Expensive Car Hat


Well, this says “Not only can I afford a roof over my head, I have interests in cars that cost as much as people’s houses.” It’s a very affordable alternative to actually buying a $200,000 car and more importantly, it can actually be on Hank when he’s sitting in front of the bar. It’s important to go relatively mainstream with the car company here, because you don’t want to wear a super-exotic car brand most women haven’t heard of like Koenigsegg or Pagani, otherwise there might be that even more embarrassing question of “Is that the name of your shelter?”

Your Input

This is where we need your help. Let us know the best way to help Hank stop being mistaken for homeless.

Create your own user feedback survey

Alternatively, just stop by Pour Judgement and tell him yourself.

-Tristan Pinnock, Blast Accessory Correspondent

Tristan's just this guy, ya know?