List Of Cities With The Most Attractive Women Includes One RI Town

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Probably not one you’re thinking of.

Lists make great web fodder. Lists of cities more so, because lots of people want to see if/where the city they live in ranks. Lists about attractive women are also amazing fodder, because all girls want to know where they rank…and something like 98% percent of men like looking at attractive women. (Even Gold Star homosexual men are going to look at Kate Upton in a bikini and say “I get it.”)

That said, most of them are pretty stupid, badly written and not at all researched, because everyone already knows a bunch of them. This list from Izismile is pretty textbook.

  • There are the large cities with lots of film, TV and modelling jobs, like New York and LA…because people attractive enough to make money on their looks will go to where they can make money on their looks.
  • Women with amazing bodies typically like to show them off, so they’ll head down South where it’s warm most of the year: Miami, Myrtle Beach, Savannah, Mississippi (and not South but still plenty warm, Arizona, Las Vegas and Hawaii).
  • Toss in somewhere in Minnesota due to all that Scandinavian immigration a century or so ago.
  • Toss in a few college towns: Eugene, Oregon and Cambridge, Massachusetts
  • Aspen and Denver, Colorado, where everyone who’s young, active and outdoorsy just moved to in the last decade.

And then, one city located in the Ocean State:

  • Cranston, Rhode Island

Cranston us_cities_with_the_most_attractive_girls_640_18

 Nothing says sexiness like taking pics of coffee cups with your Razr 10 years ago.

Cranston gets the following description:

You may have heard of Rhode Island girls, but it’s almost certain you don’t really know about them. The best-kept secret in America is the incredibly good-looking ladies in this tiny state. In this Providence suburb (a college town), you’ll see exactly what all the noise (or lack thereof) is about.

Now, don’t get us wrong. There are a lot of attractive women in Rhode Island. There are a lot more attractive women than Rhode Island men deserve. It’s just that we’ve never suggested to a bunch of guy friends that they come party in Newport and been told “Nah, dude, we’re hitting up Cranston tonight instead.”

Guys (and girls) may debate the relative attractiveness of women in LA vs. NYC vs. Miami…but we’re pretty sure that no one’s ever broken in with “Yeah, but Cranston girls blow them all away.”

We’re guessing Cranston’s most notable graduate since Aimee Sweet landed himself a job at a clickmill 5 years after graduating from New England Tech and decided to throw up that pic of the girls he totally fell for his senior year of high school, not realizing his inability to turn Cranston into the Milan of the Northeast using just the Internet.

Don’t feel bad, Cranston. For better or worse, you look like pretty much everyone else in Rhode Island, which means, as Daniel Tosh says, “You’re going to have to work.”

-Tristan Pinnock, Blast Ugly Correspondent

Tristan's just this guy, ya know?