The Mystery Of “The Newport Ditch”

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A lot of people seem to disappear in Newport. We have an explanation.

Read through these scenarios and ask yourself if any of them sounds familiar:

Scenario #1

If you’ve ever done a proper Sunday Funday in Newport, you’ve probably experienced it. You meet up with friends for brunch at Perro Salado. After finishing your meal (and Bloody Marias) there, the lot of you head over to Benjamin’s because one of you has their own bottle of Grand Marnier. After a few rounds of cocktails and shorties, it’s off to Diego’s for some margaritas. By the time you hit Speakeasy, bartenders Craig and Josh have a look on their faces which somehow says both “Well, you guys are well on your way…” and “What can we do to speed up this journey?”

One of your crew announces that they are going to the bathroom…and you never see them again.

Scenario #2

You go on a Tinder date. Now, you pre-gamed with half a bottle of wine to help settle your nerves as you were getting ready. You also had a cocktail at a spot across the street from the place you agreed to meet your date.

Anyhow, you meet up, make introductions and sit down for some beverages and conversation. Things are going swimmingly. As best as you can tell, you’re in top form. As you start telling a second amusing anecdote about your pet hamsters “Richard” and “Gertrude”, your date pulls their phone out of their pocket and puts it to their ear.

They mumble something about “Have to take this…” and step outside…never to return.

Scenario #3

It’s mid-week and around 10:30am, you get a text from a friend of yours who lives out of town. They want to do some day-drinking. Fortunately, you don’t have anything pressing, so you reply in the affirmative and make your preparations for a day out.

You meet up, take a whirlwind tour of Wharfs Bowens, Bannisters and Long before strolling up Washington Square  to use some Pour Judgement.

You’ve just ordered a fresh beer when they decide to step outside for a cigarette…and vanish without a trace. Seriously, even their car is gone from its parking space. It’s like they never existed.

If any of these experiences sound familiar, perhaps you have experienced…

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