Newport: Feel Free To Molest This Woman

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…if you want your ass to be saved by the cops.

If you’re the kind of pervert who likes to grab women on the street, we have some good news for you. The Newport Police Department does exist and it will protect you from roving Broadway mobs looking for blood after you touched one of Broadway’s sweethearts extremely inappropriately.

On Sunday night, just outside Pour Judgement, Alexandra Walsh had a man approach her and tell her how pretty she is. Alex thanked the gentleman for his compliment and returned to her previous conversation.

This was when the gentleman made a decision, which, once we determine the rest of his criminal record, made the what’s probably the worst decision of his life.

Thrusting his hand up Alex’s skirt, this loser thought he could get a cheap thrill. Little did he realize that the moniker “Pour Judgement” applies a whole lot more to anyone who would assault an employee than it does the people who actually use the establishment.

Alex responded to the sexual assault with a fist…or two. Then she screamed…and the entourage got warmed up.

The loser made a run for it, running towards the Fastnet Pub.

He didn’t make it.

After being tackled by a couple of Pour Judgement’s regulars, Newport’s newest (and possibly oldest) sexual offender lucked out, because Newport Police were on the scene. There’s a certain irony when the cops are the ones who save you from a certain fate…


There’s a larger irony when a mob of angry men are actually protecting a scumbag from an even worse fate…


After all, it’s 2015. Women take just as much pride is issuing physical punishment as anyone else does. Probably more.

Fortunately for the scumbag in question, Newport Police rescued him from a real lesson on how to respect Newport’s females.

That said, we think it stands as a message to the rest of Newport’s degenerates that they should probably keep their hands to themselves.

-Tristan Pinnock, Blast Crime Correspondent

Tristan's just this guy, ya know?