Newport Bartender Victim Of Laundromat Theft

Do you recognize the clothing thief?

It’s been a rough week for everyone’s faith in humanity and now someone has stolen a local bartender’s laundry. We’re turning to you, the Newport public, to ask for a little help finding the thief. Fortunately, security cameras at the Mall Laundromat at 199 Connell Highway (by the Wal Mart)  caught them in action so we have a little something to go off of. The resolution leaves a bit to be desired, but you can probably recognize this woman by her hairstyle and outfit.

Stealing laundry is just a strange thing to do. Would you wear some random guy’s underwear? Of course not. Why would you wear his shirts? It’s not like sweat coming out of a man’s armpits is somehow more sanitary than that coming off his balls.

So perhaps this is just all a big accident, where this woman tripped, fell and accidentally took home a load of laundry that wasn’t hers.

If you recognize the suspect, feel free to message us on Facebook or shoot us an e-mail. Confidentiality guaranteed.

-Tristan Pinnock, Blast Boxer Correspondent