Newport’s TALLEST Restaurant Manager Has A New Business Card

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Luke Devine does have freakish “length”, but the Newport Restaurant Group has found a way to answer most of your questions of about it.

If you’ve ever hung out with Luke Devine, you know a few things. The first is that he’s ridiculously friendly, in that way that most super tall people are. It’s all fun until you realize that it’s basically the same friendliness that you show to 5 year-olds. In reality, if you’re an adult, you can afford to be really nice to 5 year-olds because they’re probably no larger than half your size, if that. Basically, if you’re a person of normal size, you should realize that your fine treatment comes from your lack of threat to the freakish giant.

Naturally, being freakishly tall has been a bit of a conversation piece for ol’ Luke. This means that there has been an atypical shift towards conversation about his height as compared to other Newport Restaurant Group managers.

Fortunately for everyone involved, one of Luke’s superiors devised a solution to the issue in the form of an answer to most of the questions that Luke has found himself answering…

Yes Im Tall Card

In case you’re trying to read that on a phone with a screen which is a little too small, it reads:

Yes, I am tall
Just to answer a few of your questions…
6′ 10″
(Yes, really)
Yes, I played basketball.
Yes, my parents were tall.
I weighed 12 pounds when I was born.
The weather up here is perfect.

I’m so glad we had this conversation.

Now, depending on where you fit in the corporate food chain, you might be concerned about this restraint of Luke’s capacity to define himself according to his own terms…or you’re applauding management’s ability to constrain small talk between customers and the freakishly tall using the relative low cost of business card printing.

If you’re wondering, Luke’s allowed to hang out at The Mooring all winter long, while everyone waits for The Smokehouse to open its tall ceilings to the giant.

And we too are glad we had this discussion,

-Tristan Pinnock, Blast Height Correspondent

Tristan's just this guy, ya know?