Providence Nazis Expanding, Seizing New Territory

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(Though there may be other explanations.)

On February 16, members of the Greater Providence YMCA were shocked to learn that an essential piece of their equipment had been seized by Nazis. Rhode Island Public Radio reported:

A swastika was discovered Thursday morning spray-painted on a dumpster in front of a YMCA in Providence. Staff say they removed the anti-Semitic symbol shortly after its discovery.

In a statement, Greater Providence YMCA CEO Steven O’Donnell called it “an unfortunate, and hopefully isolated, incident.”

Unfortunately, it’s not an isolated incident.

The perpetrator and motive for the graffiti remain unknown, but Marty Cooper of the Jewish Alliance of Greater Rhode Island said he sees it a yet another example of an uptick in anti-Semitic and anti-Muslim acts across the country.

Now Providence Nazis have struck again, this time launching a blitzkrieg against the gender-neutral bathroom of a RISD dorm. The Times of Israel reports:

Providence’s Rhode Island School of Design told students a swastika made of feces was discovered over the weekend in a dormitory bathroom, WJAR-TV reported.

The college, known as RISD, said in a statement that the level of “disrespect and vitriol is completely unacceptable.” Public safety officials are investigating it as an act of vandalism and a hate crime.

The school said it has met with students on the dorm floor and has encouraged those with information to come forward.

What’s unique about swastikas is that regardless of what they’re made of, they apparently mean the same thing as opposed to everything else where a value judgement is often made about the material used. So if one was to make the Star of David out of excrement, that would likely be considered anti-Semitic. The “Piss Christ” art piece famously riled Rudy Giuliani, as he considered it to be anti-Catholic. But apparently Nazis are made of sterner stuff, because they’ll use anything to make their swastikas and everyone agrees that they all mean the same thing.

So the tally this month for Providence Nazis is:

1 Dumpster
1 (rather smelly) Gender-neutral bathroom

They’re not exactly seizing the “Commanding Heights” of the economy, but all of the various forms of waste-disposal are essential to keep the country running so maybe the crafty hatemongers have something else up their sleeve.

We’re not going to tell these people, who we’re going to assume are Nazis because swastikas, how to do their jobs, but waste management consultants, especially in rather Italian cities like Providence, aren’t to be trifled with. It’s also an odd image to go for as a political party. Most political consultants are going to tell you that they advise politicians against photo ops that involve feces.

Also, ignoring feces for a second, using spray paint to tag your territory isn’t a particularly chic unless you’re a 15-year-old gang member. If you’re going to be a fanatical hate group, act like it.

Of course, there’s a slight possibility that none of this had anything to do with actual Nazis. In which case, everyone’s been freaking out about nothing. We guess there’s a first time for everything.

-Tristan Pinnock, Blast National Socialism Correspondent

Tristan's just this guy, ya know?