Star Wars Re-Edit Turns Jedi Into Hard-Clubbing Smack-Addicts

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The prequels are suddenly far more watchable once they added a little Trainspotting.

The Phantom Menace is now Episode I: Jedi Party.

This is awesome. Who would have thought that all the prequels needed as a little Night at the Roxbury to turn them from a toxic attempt to destroy everyone’s childhood fantasies with terrible writing and even worse dialogue into some real fun.

Lucas knew this the first time around, which is why he threw Han Solo into the mix. Lovable rogues are a hell of a lot more fun to have around than would-be warrior monks like Luke Skywalker. So some folks just chopped the original films to pieces to give us a chance to hang out with the hard-partying versions of a bunch of characters we didn’t really like the first time around.

Attack of the Clones? Episode II: The Friend Zone

Where Anakin Skywalker does a much more convincing job whining about being friend-zoned than he ever did convincing the world he and Padme were in love.

Revenge of the Sith became…

Episode III: The Revenge Of Middle Management

So now you can finally show Star Wars to your friends who hate actual sci-fi, by explaining that it’s more about a band of “self-destructive smackheads” who go around “picking random dance-fights in a hospital” before hitting Applebee’s.

Thanks to the Auralnauts for some great work.

-Tristan Pinnock, Blast Cinema Correspondent

Tristan's just this guy, ya know?