The New Bathroom Technology Newport, RI Nightspots Need…Yesterday

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Forget Dyson hand-dryers and flush-less urinals, the Europeans have the new technology our city is begging for.

Running a Newport bar is full of challenges. Many of them are working on the kinds of interesting questions that people got into the industry for.

Unfortunately, there are a bunch of other, less pleasant questions that come up regularly.

  • Someone did WHAT in our bathroom?
  • Why would someone do that to our bathroom?
  • How could someone do that in our bathroom?
  • No, literally…HOW could someone do that in our bathroom? It’s on the ceiling…

There is nothing like the expression on the face of a Newport bartender, with a packed bar and a grand in the tip jar, as they’re marching up to a restroom, preparing to assault it with a mop. It’s a facial expression that says “Nope, still not getting paid enough to deal with this ****.”

Which is why we’re wondering why a few of Newport’s nightspots weren’t the first to develop a bathroom innovation discovered by Redditor ThangCZ in the Czech Republic…

sink for puking 1

That, readers, is not a sink, but a toilet designed specifically for puking. It solves numerous problems that are faced by people having too good a time. The biggest is how to maintain your balance while trying to aim your mouth into something two feet above the ground…all while NOT touching the disgusting floor.

The handles are a really nice touch, especially for folks in their early twenties who still have extreme heaving reflexes (and a tendency to do too many shots).

Now, we’re assuming that this is in a men’s room, given the urinal (Haven’t been to the Czech Republic, so not sure how bathroom gender division works there). If installed in a ladies room, a hair-tie dispenser on the wall would probably work well.

Now, when we say “nightspot”, we’re not talking about your typical restaurant. We’re talking about the kind of places that are full of pre-gamed college kids, cover bands and bartenders who either look a lot better than they pour…or compensate for their lack of gorgious by going heavy. Those are the spots where someone needs to jump in the DeLorean and head back to…at least the beginning of the summer…get these installed and saved a whole lot of Newport patrons some disturbing images (and smells) when they hit the head.

And as for you folks who like to pee on toilet paper rolls and violate other rules of bathroom etiquette, pray…PRAY that you don’t get caught.

-Tristan Pinnock, Blast Plumbing Correspondent

Tristan's just this guy, ya know?