What Your First Drink On Parade Day Says About You

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6. Guinness

When in Rome, right guys? We’re going to guess that you’re either one of the most super-Irish ¬†American guys around (where people who are actually straight off the boat from Ireland are thinking “Can you tone it down a tad?”)…or just some young know-it-all prick(like we were at 22). Not there’s anything wrong with Guinness. It’s that for us, personally, it’s just more of a session beer that we’ll coast on later in the day when we’re half in the bag and need something that won’t get us any more drunk. It’s only 4.2% abv, the same as the Bud Light above, so without some distilled acoutromon, it’s a slow way to go.

7. Irish Car Bomb

irish-car-bombThe guys who are going to start the day with an Irish Car Bomb are basically the same folks as #6…but are generally more fun and likely to have people worried about their drinking problem. The Irish Car Bomb overcomes the low abv of the Guinness and Baileys (and relatively small amount of Jameson) by requiring you to chug it all at once (before it curdles).

8. Caldwell’s Vodka

caldwellvodka_l_btOh, hello. Not to ruin your normal morning routine, but just to let you know there’s a little event going on today, so there’s going to be a lot more people on the streets. Just a little event we do each year. It’s going to be cool. It’ll be the one day of the year that everyone’s on the same page as you. Don’t worry, by tomorrow, it’s all going back to normal, which means you’ll be drinking more of the same and the rest of us will probably be taking the day off from the sauce.

9. Bloody Mary

We’re going to have to put you as an older, non-beer drinker. Someone who isn’t keen on any of the traditional Irish beverages. Don’t worry, it doesn’t make you a bad person. There are plenty of people who aren’t drinking Jameson right off the mark. It’s just that Parade Day is more about diving (or cannonballing) right into the pool, rather than slipping in slowly. You can do brunch tomorrow.

10. Jagermeister and Red Bull

Jager red bullYou’re…well, not sure how to put this exactly…us. The jolt of energy that kick starts everything and helps you overcome the fact that you were too excited to sleep last night…and whatever it is that Jager has that brings on a little craziness.

Good choice.

Now that you’ve all had your first drink, it’s not really going to matter what the second, third, eighth, or twentieth is. Have fun out there and be safe.

-Tristan Pinnock, Blast Parade Correspondent


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Tristan's just this guy, ya know?