Why Newport Is So Unfriendly: Our Scapegoats

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The solution Travel & Leisure seems to want…

It would appear that the readers of Travel & Leisure have a serious problem with the Northeast. Going by the cities they find the least friendly, Newport is going to have to ban everyone from Providence, Massachusetts, New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Maryland, Washington DC, Florida, LA and France.

This will allow tourism from the more laid-back areas of New England (Vermont, New Hampshire and Maine) as well as everywhere that people aren’t quite as fluent in sarcasm.

However, in the interest of avoiding economic suicide, we have what’s probably a better idea. We’re going to print up these stickers…

Considered Unfriendly

 

…and issue them to anyone and everyone in Newport who’s from one of the World’s Most Unfriendly Cities. That should save us all from some uncomfortable conversations.

…unless anyone has a better idea.

In the meantime, all you jerks from Providence, Boston, New York and Jersey?

We love hating you. Don’t ever change.

-Tristan Pinnock, Blast Friendly Correspondent


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Tristan's just this guy, ya know?