Why You Don’t Play With Raccoons On Broadway

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It’s all fun and games until someone gets a rabies infection.

Here’s the problem with raccoons: If they’re acting like they’re drunk, with a little trouble keeping their balance…and a bad temper…chances are they haven’t been getting into the hooch. Chances are, they’ve got rabies. Six people waiting for the bus on Broadway had an encounter with such a specimen of Procyon lotor and collectively decided “Hey, let’s mess with it! That will be fun…”

Newport Patch reports:

A group of six intoxicated people who reportedly teased and chased around a rabid raccoon in front of Newport City Hall on Saturday did not come in direct contact with the animal, according to Newport police, though one man’s shoe did get bitten…“The highly intoxicated list of individuals were calling the raccoon over as if it were a dog,” a police report stated.

They reportedly chased and followed the animal around and one person said they almost got bit but ”pulled [their] hand away at the last second.”

Well, that’s among the stupidest things we’ve heard of drunk people in Newport doing in at least…the last couple weeks.

In one of those cases where the police have to have been thinking to themselves, ‘We’re not getting paid enough to deal with this crap’, they had to track down all six brain-children and ensure that they hadn’t been infected, lest they might die.

“Without proper treatment for rabies exposure, rabies can develop and the infection is virtually always fatal,” the health department said in a release. “When administered properly, post-exposure treatment for rabies will prevent any person who was exposed to the virus from developing the disease and prevent death.”

So thanks, Newport PD, for not letting that Darwin thing happen.

-Tristan Pinnock, Blast Wildlife Correspondent

Tristan's just this guy, ya know?